Wanker of the Week: Danny Alexander

by philapilus

Nominated by:

Albert Einstein

Nominated for:

“Vote for us if you don’t want the Tories to get in again, but you don’t mind us helping them get in again!”

Danny has today attempted to launch an offensive against his coalition partners, with all the acumen of a five year old telling tales in school. Basically he’s waving around a piece of paper from 3 years ago,which he says he’s only just found, and which proves definitively that the Conservatives are massive bastards who are planning to shaft everyone on welfare.

Fuck’s sake, Danny, you wanker.

Can this really be the first time you’ve noticed they are massive bastards? Did you not read the last five tory manifestoes, which all began with the words ‘Hurrah! We’re massive bastards and proud of it!’ Did you somehow not notice the ‘I’m a massive bastard’ matching tie and cufflink sets they all wear? The ‘I’m a massive bastard’ banner hanging above the bed on which they sodomised you and your stupid wanker-party?

The tories might be a bunch of massive bastards, and Labour might be a bunch of unrealistic bastards, but at least they aren’t wankers.

You utter wanker, Alexander.

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