Farage to enlist UK Gold and Granada Television in war against BBC

by philapilus

The Beeb will rue the day it went up against a highly polished organisation like Ukip…

Ukip has said that it will completely bypass the BBC, and communicate only via TV channels embracing “traditional British values”, for the remainder of its election campaign.

The party announced its war on the BBC after Nigel Farage took offence at a dig made against him on its flagship satirical show, Have I got News For You.

Ukip spokeswoman, Gina Flange, said “I think it’s disgraceful that a BBC documentary programme like Have I got News For You should attack the country’s next Prime Minister, Nigel, in this way.

“You wouldn’t get Ian Hislop and Paul Merton mocking the outgoing Mr Cameron, or attacking that dangerous Satanist Miliband! Or having a go at that woad-covered little Pict, Nick Sturgeon, who looks like a woman! They’re just picking on us because we’re the white minority, and because Nigel dares to Say What We’re All Thinking!”

Ukip said that from now on all of its party political broadcasts, interviews, or any debates in which it takes part, will have to be shown on ‘good old British channels’ like UK Gold and Granada Television.

When it was pointed out that even Gold and Granada have rebranded and embraced minimal change, Ms Flange said “Well then sod the tellly. I never trusted it anyway, with its little magical moving people, that don’t pay any attention to you when you talk to them.

“We’ll do it all on the country’s beloved Vaudeville stages. We’ll have a minstrel show, and a dog juggler, and a woman with big boobies who announces the acts.

“I’ll go and tell Nigel now. He’s in a beer hall, preparing to march on Croydon and overthrow the council.”

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