‘If we don’t kill all the whales they’ll die’, warns Japan

by philapilus

Saving the species, one whale at a time

Japan has criticised the International Whaling Committee for rejecting its latest proposed hunting programme, and has warned that without substantially increased rates of slaughter, the whales might all die out.

A Japanese official said “The laws against whaling, imposed by so-called “experts” at the International Court of Justice, represent astonishing scientific ignorance.

“Do they really think that if we let these succulent, delicious creatures live, there’s some sort of chance they won’t all die out? Ridiculous! Imagine a world where you can’t move for whales. They’ll suck up all the…the whatever it is they eat, and then they won’t have any food left.

“Furthermore it is vital for the advancement of science that we kill and eat them. For instance, how else will we know how many of them there are? You can’t count them without killing them; they swim around, and you’d just end up counting the same whale loads of times.

“We need to try and wipe them out now.”

Hans van Cokhood of the IWC said “I am not sure that we need to know how many of them there are, if we’re going to stop hunting them. But if we really want to find out, I am sure we could just tag them electronically?”

But the Japanese scientific body Kill All The Whales repudiated this on scientific grounds, pointing out that electronic tags don’t taste nice.

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