Cameron pledges Good Life DVDs for everyone

by philapilus

A Conservative favourite, the Good Life featured a rich couple, and the peasants next door who lived off roots from the garden.

David Cameron has promised that a Conservative government will ensure everyone in the UK receives a cheap knock-off copy of three Good Life episodes, in one of those cardboard sleeves like you get free in the Daily Mail.

The Prime Minister said “In these times of austerity we will of course stick to the long term economic plan, of encouraging you all to bend over and assume the position. But I want the Good Life for each and every one of you. On DVD, which is cheaper and more realistic than actually providing a genuinely reasonable existence.

“We’re not giving you all of them, obviously; that would be extravagant. But you can have, oh I don’t know, maybe three episodes? Maybe the first one, and the one where they’re fighting over the windbreaker. Oh, and the Christmas one, where they all get drunk, and Tom and Jerry try and seduce each others’ wives.

“Just like when we had the Cleggs round for Christmas, except Paul Eddington wasn’t tied up watching helplessly while Richard Briers and Felicity Kendal defiled Penelope Keith. Hang on, did I say that out loud?”

Labour has accused the tories of failing to keep its budget promises whilst hurting the poorest in society, and as such will be pledging its own free gift to taxpayers of all four series of Citizen Smith on VHS.

Ed Miliband said “Am I tough enough to upgrade it to DVD, if I win with a large majority? Hell I…hell yes I tough…I… Hang on, let me start again. Am I tough enough? Hell yes.”

Not wanting to be left out, the Lib Dems have pledged everyone a second-hand copy of Gerald Durell’s My Family and Other Animals, whilst Ukip are offering a Blu-Ray disc with a compilation of every racial slur uttered in a British sitcom, from the 1950s through to the episode of Keeping up Appearances when Hyacinth Bucket was on MDMA and ran out in the street shouting “COONS!! DIRTY COONS EVERYWHERE!!” at the top of her voice.

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