Archive for April 9th, 2015

April 9, 2015

Gatwick oil fields claimed by Scotland

by philapilus

It’s about time someone prettied up the English landscape

The SNP announced today that Scotland is officially laying claim to a newly discovered oil field near Gatwick, which is estimated to contain a potential 100bn barrels of oil.

SNP leader Nicola Sturgeon said “Whilst we are going to keep holding the referendum on independence every two weeks until we get the result we want, we are still very open to changing the terms of the divorce settlement.

“For instance, at first we

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April 9, 2015

British politicians ‘too thick to feed themselves’

by philapilus
graph

“We did a graph”

A groundbreaking study has discovered that many MPs lack the basic intelligence required to open their mouths and put food in.

Research undertaken at the Slough School of Thick found that political success was inversely related to managing-to-feed-yourself success.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, author of the report, said “We began our project some time back, trying to find out why Ed Miliband couldn’t eat a bacon sandwich.

“But we

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