Earth’s core made of Creme Egg filling

by philapilus

An artist’s impression of the calamitous aftermath resulting from a giant meteor colliding with Earth

A team of scientists investigating the Earth’s core have made the remarkable discovery that it is, in fact, entirely composed of the weirdly addictive, sugary gunk that you find inside a Cadbury’s Creme Egg.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, leader of the American and Chinese project, said “The scientific community has variously believed that the centre of the Earth was made of magma, or was a big iron ball, or at a push, a magical cave inhabited by dinosaurs and morlocks.

“But no; creme egg filling, apparently. We’re about 99% certain.”

A spokesperson for Cadbury’s said “Dammit, we never thought anyone would find out. We’ve just been pumping this stuff out of the Earth for free for decades.

“We’re going to have to reintroduce the milk chocolate outer core, or no-one will ever buy our products again.”

Wendy Nailinthehead, who is substantially larger than her own front door, said “Brilliant! I don’t even need to struggle out to the shops anymore! I can just pull up the floorboards and gorge myself silly.”

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