Boots’ boss: “Miliband doesn’t understand the importance of my not paying taxes”

by philapilus

“If only Miliband could understand economics” said Lord Rose, who competently oversaw a 30% drop in shares at M&S, before becoming a lord.

The CEO of Boots, Stefano Pessina, has launched a telling attack on the Labour party, claiming that they “simply do not understand why it is vital to the UK economy that I live in Monaco, rather than the UK where I would have to pay lots of tax.”

Pessina joined other business leaders in lambasting Labour’s “lack of awareness of how capitalism works” citing the party’s “indulgent and unrealistic desire to see shitmunchers being able to afford both commuting costs and heating bills”.

The former boss of Marks & Spencer, Conservative peer Lord Rose, said “Apparently Miliband seems to think that wealth creators should make some sort of penalty payment called ‘tax’. I thought that was what the poor had to pay, to make up for the way they smell?

“Obviously Miliband’s no economist.”

Labour shamefacedly accepted that Miliband knew nothing about economics, and admitted that his lamentably poor experience consisted only of having read PPE at Oxford, and done an MSc in economics at the London School of Economics, and taught economics at Harvard, and worked for the UK treasury.

The party’s deputy leader, Harriet Harman, said “Shit. We’ve ballsed this up a bit.

“We never thought that senior Tories, and very rich executives living offshore to avoid tax, wouldn’t like our plan to make life for the poor a bit more hopeful, and a bit less of an anus-shattering buggery session.

“Clearly we’re going to have to rethink our policies. How about further tax breaks for the wealthy, to stimulate economic demand, and the destruction of the NHS to reduce the intolerable financial burden that sick people place on the state. We don’t really need to save them; it’s not as if they’re being economically productive, is it?”

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