Centuries-old body of Buddhist monk had ticket to see Rolling Stones

by philapilus

This etching from the 1850s shows the exact moment that Keith wrote the riff for ‘Brown Sugar’

A ticket to one of the first concerts by the Rolling Stones has been discovered amongst the artefacts belonging to a Buddhist monk, who died in the 1800s.

The very-well preserved corpse, discovered in Mongolia, has sat serenely in the Lotus position for perhaps 200 years, with all the appearance of having found peace and enlightenment at the moment of death.

Amongst his pockets archaeologists have found a big bag of weed, a score for pan-pipes music, and a ticket to see ‘Ye Rollinge Stones, in ye Hydde Park, LonDon.’

The ticket, which has a price stamped on it of £45, would have taken the monk many years to save for, but boasts ‘Ye hip-thrusting strutt of infamey’ and ‘Ye twanging sounds of Mssrs Jagger, Richards & Comp.y,  still as vibrant as they were in youre youth!’

A programme for the concert also found amongst the monk’s meagre possessions promises the Stones will perform ‘Theire greatest Golden Olden-day hitts; Render Unto Me Shelter, Sympathy for Beelzebub, and of coursse, I Cannot Gett Anye Satis-faction’.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of Ancient Music, said “This is an exciting find. Until now few relics from the Stones’ early days have been unearthed.

“This ticket and programme appear to be from only their 20th annual tour, which allows us to state with complete certainty that most of their great hits were written well before their ‘Waterloo Celebration festival’ of 1815, when Keith and Mick were mere striplings in their early 60s.

“Which interestingly was also the year when a doctor first pronounced Keith would be dead within 12 months.”


“The path to enlightenment lies in realising that You Can’t Always Get What You Want”



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