2014 in Headlines

by philapilus
https://i1.wp.com/upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/2/2a/Nigel_Farage_Autumn_2008.JPG

Farage beat Kelly Brook to become Mail Online’s ‘Most Beloved Person’

Here at TMB we have Googled tirelessly, for more than three minutes, to remind you of the major news headlines from 2014. This is in no way because our entire reporting staff called in sick with epic hangovers, preventing us from giving you any actual news.

 

Blair rejects Nobel Peace Prize “The money’s shit; I’m insulted”

Eastwood finally guns down Eli Wallach

British public loses battle of wits with puddle

Harrods boss: “Everything I sell is junk”

Steven Segal’s bodyfat could feed Ohio, say scientists

Southend woman Christine Coals murders 19, in antique-shop killing spree

Coldest driest hottest wettest foggiest year on record

Ukip get my vote, says Queen

Salmond: “I lost deliberately, because I knew oil prices would collapse”

Death of Lauren Bacall reduces world’s reserves of class by 98%

“There is a God, and it’s me” claims Dawkins

Bankers celebrated by everyone, again

Mars probe wipes out all Martian life with common cold

Queen defeats Kim Kardashian in ‘Rear of the Year’ Awards

Putin restarts Cold War after LSD flashback

France capitulates

Conductor Claudio Abbado dies 1 day before completing ‘Sellotapes of the World’ collection

Getting honour from the Queen ‘proof of sex-crimes’, says study

Miliband: “The Tories have fixed the economy”

Fred Phelps: “Gee, Heaven’s more fiery than Ah thunkit was gon’ be”

David Cameron discovered to be KGB Sleeper agent

Lord Robert Winston wins annual ‘Saddam Hussein lookalike’ competition in Kentucky

Russell Brand devises new democratic system in toilet, forgets it after flushing

Wimbledon: Sir John Major “Surprised but delighted” at 4th Grandslam title in 2 years

 

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