North Korea temporarily unable to access Kim Jong-un pictures

by philapilus

Coping without the famous Putin vs Kim Jong-il dance-off video has been particularly gruelling

North Korean internet ground to a halt yesterday and the country remained offline for nearly ten hours, causing severe disruption to citizens’ enjoyment of articles about Kim Jong-un.

The secretive country has a vibrant and growing internet culture, consisting entirely of websites featuring the Dear Leader posing with cats, ‘FAIL’ Gifs of service personnel pratfalling in front of him, and ripped-off adult films in which his chubby little face is poorly super-imposed over Peter North’s.

As the row over the Sony cyber-attack deepens, many commentators have suggested the online outage was the result of a direct retaliatory assault, though others have been quick to point out that it’s probably just because North Korea’s internet provider is BT.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough Centre for Guessing Stuff, said “The country’s single computer is probably a modified 1983 Acorn, on which the privileged elite can look at any one of the 73 state-sanctioned Kim Jong-un related websites.

“This disruption of their dial-up internet access will have been a huge blow, leaving them with only traditional forms of leisure activity such as the Point at the Stick game, looking for grass to eat, or clapping for hours on end.”

Hollywood has been quick to extend its sympathies to the isolated nation, and has promised to make flattering cartoons about it for evermore.

The most popular North Korean website is its version of Buzzfeed, which is a bunch of doctored photos and made-up facts, interspersed with endless adverts for pointless shite. Just like the actual Buzzfeed.

It is, however, considered marginally better than ‘Two Kims, One Cup’, featuring the current supreme leader, his father, and a mug full of excrement.




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