Osborne uses c-word 57 times in Autumn statement

by philapilus


Osborne finally broke the long-standing record of Margaret Bondfield, the first female cabinet minister in British history, who in 1930 called Stanley Baldwin a cunt 43 times in one sitting.

George Osborne made his mark on British political history today, after using the word ‘cunt’ 57 times in one sitting – more than any other government minister in history.

The Chancellor of the Exchequer made use of his last Autumn statement before the General Election to single out members of the opposition who  he deemed “particularly worthy of being called cunts”.

Osborne began his speech by saying “Mr Speaker, there are some utter cunts sitting over there.

“The right honourable leader of the opposition is a cunt. The right honourable shadow home secretary is a cunt, and the right honourable shadow chancellor is a massive, massive cunt.”

He then began naming specific individuals, shouting “Harriet Harman; you are a cunt! Douglas Alexander; you are a cunt! Nick Clegg; YOU are a cunt!” and managed to name virtually the whole shadow cabinet and half his Lib Dem colleagues, before the irate Speaker, John Bercow, reprimanded him most sternly for failing to refer to opponents in the third person.

Mr Bercow said “Order! Order! I must remind the Chancellor that it is the form observed in this house to refrain from addressing comments to other Members directly! If he wishes to call the honourable Member for Camberwell and Peckham a cunt, could he please ensure he does so in the correct manner?

Apart from frequent droppings of the c-bomb, Mr Osborne’s speech consisted wholly of the word “billion” repeated in a variety of different ways, accompanied with frowns or smiles.

Upon finishing, he took out his cock, and pissed on the shoes of Ed Balls.

The Shadow Chancellor then wrestled Mr Osborne to the ground and took a steaming dump on his face, whilst also repeating the word “billion” over and over again with a variety of different inflections.

Unemployed TV addict, Tim Twanks, said “As far as I could see all they did was call each other cunts and say ‘billion’ a lot. It seemed a shocking waste of government time. Is that what they always do?

“Oh, I guess that’s all right then.”

%d bloggers like this: