All Tory MPs “initially trained as cabbies”

by philapilus

“You can get in if you like, but I’m not going South of the bloody river this time of night”

It has emerged that before entering Parliament all prospective Conservative candidates are required to spend at least a year working as taxi drivers.

After cabbies complained about the rudeness of former Cabinet Minister, David Mellor, Conservative HQ retorted that Mellor was “A master of the Hackney Carriage” and knew London “Like the back of his hand.”

Mellor was secretly recorded at the weekend, shouting at a taxi-driver that he could do a much better job. He claimed that he “drove nights for 11 bloody years whilst representing Putney, even when I was Chief bloody Secretary to the bloody Treasury.”

A Conservative spokesman said today “All would-be Tory politicians must memorise the entire A-Z and drive for a year. If they get a seat they are expected to continue for as long as possible.

“It’s even a running joke in our party, to call cabinet Ministers ‘cabbies’. Because most of them are!

“A running joke, but perhaps not a very good one, come to think of it.”

Regular unemployed taxi-user, Tim Twanks, said “Oh I’ve been driven by all sorts of famous Tories over the years. I had that Geoffrey Howe in the front of my cab once, ranting about ‘Pakis coming over here and stealing our jobs’.

“They’re just like all the other taxi-drivers really. Except much, much more offensive, self-important and generally fucking stupid.”

 

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