Catatonia: We will not be cowed by Spain

by philapilus

“All we want is freedom from Spain, Yaki Da!”

In an unofficial poll, Welsh indie rock band Catatonia have voted overwhelmingly for independence from Spain.

Breathy-voiced lead singer Cerys Matthews said “That’s popular opinion, see? There’s lovely int it? It’s about time Spain let us go, see? We’ll do very well without them, so we will.”

The independence ballot was an act of defiance, after a ruling by the Spanish constitutional court refused to allow a referendum on autonomy for the famous ’90s britpop act.

The Spanish Prime Minister Mariano Rajoy said “This whole vote has been a waste of time. Spain has no more intention of letting Catatonia go, than the British government had of letting Alex Salmond take Belle and Sebastian out of the UK.

“Catatonia believe that their fierce individualism and financial solvency after years of topping the charts give them the right not to belong to Spain. My opinion is very much ‘Bollocks to that’.”

But Matthews and guitarist Mark Roberts released a statement on behalf of the band, saying that “The whole band voted, didn’t it. And the vote clearly points the way towards referendum, see, and severance from a country that has refused to recognise our democratic rights.

“It’s like the old problems we used to have with the city authorities when we were busking in Swansea, except it’s not pissing it down with rain all the time, and there’s fewer slag heaps. There’s lovely.”

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