Dismay after Brand not amongst ‘Guy Fawkes’ Protest arrests

by philapilus

“Viva la Changey-wangey! Up the Reds! Four legs good two legs bad! Bow down for I am your God! All that kinda stuff, orwight??”

Organisers of the so-called ‘Guy Fawkes’ protest in central London yesterday expressed their bitter disappointment that self-styled revolutionary Russell Brand was not amongst those arrested by the police.

Anonymous’s spokesperson said that although they were attempting to dismantle the capitalist state, and naturally loathed the totalitarian-supporting police force, Brand was amongst those they were “really fucking hoping would get thrown into a cell yesterday.”

Russell Brand was one of several celebrities taking part in the Million Masks March, where protesters wearing Guy Fawkes masks marched from Trafalgar Square to Parliament Square.

Brand said to the press “This is wot it’s all about, innit? Like, it’s all very well sayin you gotta have a plitikal class an everyfink, but acshully, all you gotta do is get everyone out on the street yellin and shoutin, and the calami’ous apparatus of suppresshun, aggresshun, dominashun and subjugashun collapses, dunnit, see?”

Tim Twanks, an unemployed commentator, commented “Lazily derived from the end of the film ‘V for Vendetta’, the campaign uses the anonymity of the mask to protect individuals, and to enhance the notion of a united public – an effect which is rather fucking spoiled when egotistical celebrities take the fucking masks off for the cameras.

“But I think in the terrifying chaos of Russell Brand’s imagination, we are all just specks of dust, whirling unimportantly around the million-foot high effigies of himself that loom over the universe.

“He probably thinks he’s doing us all a favour just by turning up.

“Wanker.”

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