DJ Read pens UKIP song about ‘horrors of Ebola’

by philapilus

MP Douglas Carswell said “Well, I couldn’t see the problem with Mike’s Calypso. But apparently some of the Bongobongo chaps – of whom many are my best friends and so on – didn’t take a shine to it.

“Can you still say shine?

“Anyway, this is a far more sensitive and emotional song, which I think will show everyone just how profoundly UKIP understands and sympathises with the Big Current Issues.”

And in another TMB scoop, we have received an advance copy of the lyrics. We asked Mr Farage for his permission to print them, and he said “Glibly tie my shoe to a blue ear! Fish-sticks! Fiiiiiish-sticks! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

So here is Read’s ‘Ebola Carol-a’:


I thought that I had caught the flu

Or maybe something worse

I thought the ambulance was due

But they sent out a hearse


Ebola! Ebola!

I’m feeling rather sick

Ebola! Ebola!

It’s getting worse real quick


My head was hot, my throat was sore

It just refused to pass

I thought it bad, but there was more!

Shit fountained out my arse


Ebola! Ebola!

I’d come out in a rash

Ebola! Ebola!

My organs turned to mash


I had no strength, no will to speak

Hazmatted nurses sighed

Just when I thought ‘it’s reached its peak’

Blood rushed out from inside


Ebola! Ebola!

Don’t visit Sierra Leone

Ebola! Ebola!

I should have stayed at home


Now all the fluid in my body

Had rushed out like a river

My kidneys both went pretty shoddy,

Packed in, as did my liver


Ebola! Ebola!

You’ll never leave your bed

Ebola! Ebola!

You’re shit-blood-puke-stained and…




(All proceeds from the sales of this song will go to UKIP, to help them fight Ebola in Britain by keeping the darkies out)



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