Cameron: “I have something important to say about Europe, possibly”

by philapilus

“Come on, come on. Why is this taking me so long? How can it be this hard to have an idea? I know people who have had more than one in a single YEAR…”

The Prime Minister has attempted to breach the divide growing in his own party, by announcing that he might make an announcement about the UK and Europe before Christmas. Probably.

Mr Cameron assured the country and fellow Conservatives that he would “be making a very strong statement, maybe outlining some sort of brilliant strategy, probably in a speech, article, open letter, or possibly in a text to my wife Samantha.

“But the key thing is, that it will show a united Tory front on immigration and EU membership. Or, as the case may be, maybe it won’t.”

Cameron’s forceful statement comes as the party prepares to fight another by-election against a former Conservative MP, Mark Reckless, now a member of UKip.

Pat McFadden, Labour’s new shadow Europe minister, said “This could be a real problem for us. I promised Ed that I could take the fight to the Tories with hard-hitting policy on Europe and on immigration.

“But now there might be an announcement – and no one, not even the Prime Minister,  knows yet what or when it is going to be. What if it turns out to be a secret weapon with the power to annihilate us all?”

But the Prime Minister said “The British public are my boss, and once I have decided what I am going to tell them to do, I will ask them what they want me to do and then will or possibly won’t do it or tell them to do it, depending on which sort of policy we have unveiled in the meantime.

“I could not fail to ensure that it would be impossible for any of that not to be any less clear. And that’s almost my final word on it.”


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