BBC to offer tips on ‘most dangerous poker games’

by philapilus

“You should bet your house and family on Black 17” said John Humphreys this morning on the Today programme

The BBC has announced that it will be expanding its advice to gamblers, from simple horse tips to how to locate the really full-on poker games where you can lose all your fingers.

BBC Spokesperson, Percy Spoke, said “Whilst we have always provided an admirable information service for those who fancy a ‘flutter’ on the horses, we have never really reached out to the other gambling communities.

“The Today programme will now include, along with its racing tips, suggestions for a range of betting opportunities, including the most dangerous gangster-poker games, the inside-track on the day’s dogfights, and where to find the best bare-knuckle boxing matches between coerced kids with Down Syndrome.”

The BBC’s bold new step is in recognition of recent research suggesting the gambling addiction tends not to respect class boundaries, and does not divide easily into ‘respectable’ and ‘prole’ categories.

Fat ‘Arry, who runs a ‘Winner takes everything, an’ I do mean everything‘ Texas Hold’em game out of a seemingly-closed strip club, said “This is good news. Quite a lotta my punters are not what you’d call repeat custom, cos they finds it ‘ard to keep playing wivout their fingers an’ stuff.

“But fanks to Auntie Beeb, they’ll be a whole new loada wide-eyes comin’ in here, wiv their pockets full of folding cash.

“It’s great. I’m gonna buy a new pair of secateurs.”

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