N Korea says leader has invented invisibility cloak

by philapilus

Official state media released this picture of “the Supreme Leader hard at work”, on what is thought to be the country’s only computer

After a period of several weeks during which Kim Jong-un has been noticeably absent, Pyongyang has ended speculation as to his whereabouts by revealing the exciting news that the Supreme Leader has succeeded in achieving invisibility.

The capacity to completely disappear, long a feature of myth, fantasy and legend, became a scientific project in the late 20th century, when researchers began trying to fabricate a cloak of invisibility.

Now it transpires that the necessary material has finally been invented – by the leader of the world’s most secretive nation.

North Korean state media said “The Dear Leader has – in addition to inventing the wheel, electricity, the aeroplane and space travel – now given the world his greatest gift; the cloak of invisibility, woven from his magical hair.

“The practical applications are limitless, but right up there at the top is the fact that our Godlike supreme commander can now go through all the boring formalities of attending state events without actually being seen, meaning he can yawn or nod off if he wants.

“And of course, even though it doesn’t look like he’s there, no one will think he has been deposed.

“We repeat; no one will think he has been deposed. You have been warned.”

But Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of Invisibility Studies, said “Actually, he’s not the first to succeed, he’s been pipped to the post by my wife.

“For nine years I’ve come home every night and spent hours explaining to her – in great detail – the research I had done that day. And wouldn’t you know it, she upped and worked it out herself! I haven’t seen her for four months.”


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