Unarmed man in lift with Obama

by philapilus

Only last year someone in the State of Arizona was arrested for driving whilst not holding a semi-automatic weapon. Experts warn that there could be a ‘non-carrying epidemic’ if swift action is not taken.

Barack Obama’s bodyguards are facing yet another accusation of negligence today, after an unarmed man got into a lift with the US president and rode with him for 6 floors.

Agents admitted they had been completely unaware that construction worker Jim Casey was not carrying a concealed weapon, and that the safety of both the president and his typist had been compromised.

A Secret Service spokesman said “I can confirm that, due to a small oversight, none of the president’s detail ensured that a man who entered the lift was carrying a firearm.

“It was sheer luck that none of the things that make it completely necessary for all Americans to carry guns, constantly, actually happened.

“If a parking dispute had arisen, or if someone had dissed someone else’s mamma, or if – God forbid – a bee had somehow got into the lift, this person would have been completely unable to protect himself with terminal intensity.

“This would have placed an intolerable burden on secret agents, and even the president himself, to use their own guns on this man’s behalf. I can only offer my assurances that this will never happen again”

The NRA said that this was “a wake-up call for ordinary Americans.”

NRA spokesman Ted Neejerk said “An unarmed man gaining this sort of proximity to our Head of State is against everything we stand for. The only way we can stop bad things from happening is for good people – all good people – to carry guns.”

Congress has demanded a full inquiry into the matter, and in the interim the Secret Service has said agents assigned to the president will carry a stash of spare firearms.

These weapons can be lent out to any other unarmed members of the public who Obama finds himself in close contact with, to ensure everyone’s safety.

Meanwhile the president’s office confirmed this afternoon that Casey was taken away and shot in the head, to teach him a lesson.

 

 

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