“You’re not actually PM anymore” Cameron tells Blair

by philapilus
Leaders from the three main political parties were forced to make An Intervention this morning, after unhinged


Has been very busy recently writing long emails to God instructing him how to run the universe

megalomaniac Tony Blair rang up the Ministry of Defence and ordered ground troops into Iraq and Syria.

A recording of his phonecall to the MoD revealed Blair instructed the UK armed forces to “Unleash a fiery hell” upon the Islamic State militia, adding “We’re going in again boys; I’ve led you to military triumph before, and I’ll do it again!”

A spokesman for the Prime Minister said “David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband went round to Tony’s and knocked on the door. He answered it wearing a toga, paratrooper boots, and a poorly-constructed tinfoil crown.

“They tried in vain to explain to Mr Blair that he was not, in fact, Prime Minister anymore, and no longer had the authority to commit the nation’s armed forces to inadequately planned wars.

“But he just got very excited and started running round the room, waving a Hoover attachment, and shouting ‘KNEEL BEFORE YOUR KING’ over and over.”

Friend and neighbour of the Blairs, Wendy Nailinthehead, said “Dave and Ed sat Tony down and spoke soothingly, whilst Nick Clegg was sent to ring for an ambulance. Of course, he even fucked that up, and got a fire engine instead. Little shit can’t do anything.

“When the ambulance did arrive, Tony was tied securely to a stretcher and taken into care, a process made considerably harder by the projectiles that a howling, deranged Cherie – hanging naked out of an upstairs window – was hurling at the paramedics.

“The last thing we heard Tony ranting as they took him away was ‘Kill all the arabs! Kill all the arabs!

“It was just like 2003 all over again.”

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