Some vote or something going on in Scotland…?

by philapilus

“Is this their flag? I think this is their flag…”

People throughout the UK have been surprised to learn this lunchtime that there is going to be some kind of referendum or something taking place in Scotland – apparently really quite soon.

The ‘Scottish vote’ was first mentioned this morning on local radio in Torquay, during a phone-in session about the drawbacks of catsitting, but has gradually been picked up by the main news organs during the course of the morning.

The three main UK political parties and the Scottish National Party all admitted they were not in a position to comment on the forthcoming vote, because none of them could quite remember anything about it.

But the Prime Minister’s office said “There’s bound to be an internal memo, or something jotted on a post-it. Once we’ve found it we’ll let you know when the vote-referendum thingy is. And indeed what it is.”

Scottish people have said they have no idea what the referendum is all about, but provided it does not infringe in any way on deep-frying things, they aren’t too bothered. Some, however, have castigated the “lackadaisical media” for failing to make anyone aware of whatever the vote and issues are before now.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough School of McScottishness, said “Och aye, wuir quate surprised – we dinnae ken aboot it at aul. ‘f on’y tha noospapers hud bin gon on abou’ it fir months an’ months, in an intairminable boring drone, we would’nae huv bin caught off guard.”

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