Hawking warns “angry God particle could destroy the universe”

by philapilus

“Fucking bring back Bagpuss. NOW!”

Renowned physicist and DJ Stephen Hawking has said that despite previous declarations by many in the scientific community “God does in fact exist.”

He added however that the Almighty “is a tiny, very angry particle, capable of destroying all of space and time on a vengeful whim.”

In his preface to a new book, the famous scientist said that the Higgs boson ‘God’ particle “Doesn’t care much about what people do with their bottoms, or whether they eat sausages, but he gets really, really pissed when his favourite kids’ TV shows get cancelled.”

Hawking said “Everyone at Cern is busy feeding DVDs of Dangermouse and Thundercats into the particle accelerator, but if we don’t get hold of some old VHS tapes of Knightmare pretty soon, he’s going to go ape.

“Please check through all your old videos. The fate of the universe depends on it.” 

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