Arizona calls for mandatory firearm training for infants

by philapilus

Perfect for a child

Citizens in Arizona are campaigning for tightened gun legislation, after the killing of a gun instructor by his 9 year-old student.

The shocking and completely unforeseeable accident, in which a small child failed to control the recoil of a fully automatic Uzi submachine gun, has galvanised communities, and led to demands for laws making it illegal for 9 year-olds not to know how to handle weaponry.

Founder of the ‘Shots for Tots’ campaign, Mike Unt, said “This kind of easily preventable death is easily preventable. If that 9 year-old girl had learned how to use an Uzi at the age of 2 or 3, then that gun instructor would still be alive. And today he would be teaching another toddler how to use an Uzi, instead of lying on a marble slab with quite important bits of his face and brain missing.

“Because of the lackadaisical way in which our over-liberal society allows kids to grow up without mandatory gun instruction, this country has a ridiculously high rate of firearm-related deaths.

“All we at Shots for Tots want, is for every child to have a peaceful, safe childhood, surrounded by automatic weaponry, so that they never have to worry about not knowing how to use a gun. It’s plain commonsense, people.”

The National Rifle Association is backing Shots for Tots’ Arizona campaign, and is hoping to go further and make a nationwide push for enforced gun ownership from birth.

An NRA spokesman said “That moment, when your new baby reaches out and grabs your finger for the very first time; think how much safer the world would be, if it was reaching out to clutch a gun-barrel instead?

“We need to do away with the ludicrously outmoded constitutional idea of the ‘right to bear arms’ and introduce modern legislation enforcing the  ‘requirement to bear arms.’ And I don’t think that is too much to ask.”


In other, unrelated, news the plan for the rest of the world to create a very large, wholly impassable, bulletproof wall around the continental USA has now been universally ratified. Work on the wall is expected to begin later this year.

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