Assange: ‘I’m probably OK to come out now, yeah?’

by philapilus

“I don’t get out much, but I thought the press would be the best people to ask about my chances for freedom, given their unimpeachable code of honour and great integrity.”

Julian Assange yesterday invited reporters to the Ecuadorian embassy, saying “I just wanted to see if you guys reckon I can come out of hiding yet?”

The Australian fled to the embassy two years ago to avoid extradition to Sweden on charges of sexual assault. He also fears incarceration by the US over the Wikileaks revelations.

Assange exhorted journalists to “Be honest; I really don’t want to make a boob here”, adding “but like, all that stuff was a couple of years ago now; everyone’s bound to have forgotten, aren’t they?”

“Anyway, I can’t imagine anyone is still cross with me, or even remembers I’m here. Also, I thought when I leave I could put on a pair of those glasses with a plastic nose attached, and just melt into the crowd, like in a spy film.

“That would be OK, wouldn’t it?”

Reporter Mike Ock said “We told him that it would be absolutely fine, and that he should probably wear a bright neon pink jumpsuit when he leaves the embassy to fit in with new fashion trends.

“We’re running a book on how long he’s on the lam before they pick him up. I’ve got 10 1/2 minutes, so I hope he at least makes it to a car, or, failing that, a bicycle.

“This is going to be fucking funny.”

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