Archive for August 14th, 2014

August 14, 2014

Mingers to get their A-level results a day late again

by philapilus

“Ok, on 3 everyone jump up and cheer – those of you we didn’t speak to earlier, please make sure you’re facing in the opposite direction. Everyone ready?”

Unattractive people who took A-Levels this year will once again be denied their results today, leaving the media free to focus on just the pretty ones.

Newspaper editors signalled their approval, after the DfE announced exam boards had only graded the papers of pupils rated at least 8 out of 10 by a board of lecherous teachers.

Ofsted inspector Roger Kidd said “Do I think it’s wrong? Hell no! No one wants to see a fatty jumping up and down excitedly, the outer regions of her stomach wobbling like blancmange.

“Grading attractive students ahead of

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