Russia sends not-at-all suspicious aid convoy to Ukraine

by philapilus

“You couldn’t fit a platoon, a small armoured car, an anti-tank artillery piece and enough supplies and ammunition to last three months into one of these. And we should know, we checked!”

Russia insisted today that the 300 lorries full of food and medicine it is sending to Ukraine “Really don’t need to be checked very thoroughly at all.”

Vladimir Putin, whose country has clashed with the West over Russia’s attempt to dominate the region, said that the vehicles “Are full of socks, vodka, and pickled fish, and definitely not packed with special forces and munitions.”

But Western military intelligence warned that the 45,000 troops currently massing on the Russian side of the border could be planning to use the aid convoy as a cover for rolling into Ukraine, and then rubbing out the border with a giant eraser.

A UN spokesperson said “This is just so Russia. They’ll help themselves to the country and then stand around looking all innocent and saying ‘Ukraine? What Ukraine? Never heard of it I’m afraid…’

“But it’s time to take action. We need to write a really strongly worded email. Maybe even a letter. On two pages.”

Vladimir Putin said “Typical Western paranoia! Why on Earth would we want to take back what was once considered the jewel in the USSR crown?

“To think that a civilized country like ours would just annex a neighbouring territory without a thought for the rule of international law.

“That’s hardly ever happened before.”

 

 

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