Archive for August 12th, 2014

August 12, 2014

Scots to keep pound but not spend it

by philapilus

Youse cannae ha’it bak, yon thievin’ tyrant that ye are!

A recent survey has found that over 90% of Scots agree with Alex Salmond that Scotland should keep the pound, as well as all the smaller denomination coinage and banknotes, in “A tightly clenched fist or easy to hide purse.”

The poll adds to the already substantial evidence that Scotland has no intention of handing over any of its money, for anything, and is intending to continue standing at the bar cadging drinks off everyone else whilst pretending to be broke indefinitely.

Alistair Darling, chairman of the Better Together campaign, said “Knowing that Scotland is about as likely to part

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August 12, 2014

Russia sends not-at-all suspicious aid convoy to Ukraine

by philapilus

“You couldn’t fit a platoon, a small armoured car, an anti-tank artillery piece and enough supplies and ammunition to last three months into one of these. And we should know, we checked!”

Russia insisted today that the 300 lorries full of food and medicine it is sending to Ukraine “Really don’t need to be checked very thoroughly at all.”

Vladimir Putin, whose country has clashed with the West over Russia’s attempt to dominate the region, said that the vehicles “Are full of socks, vodka, and pickled fish, and definitely not packed with special forces and munitions.”

But Western military intelligence warned that the 45,000 troops currently massing on the

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