Boris to eat dinner

by philapilus

The dinner revelations have not helped anyone solve the impossible conundrum over whether or not BoJo will return to the mainstream of British politics or make a leadership challenge

The UK’s media buzzed with unprecedented excitement this morning, after months of speculation finally ended with the confirmation that Boris Johnson will eat some food later.

Although it had long been said that Boris would very obviously eat dinner tonight, the coy Mayor of London had avoided giving away any clues one way or the other, leading to a storm of gossip and rumour.

Political analyst Mike Ock said “Of course, we did expect Mr Johnson would do this very unsurprising thing, and, by the same token, we imagined that he would not not do it.

“But now that he has actually said he will, we need to spend as long as possible analysing what this means for the country, trying to guess just what sort of dinner he will eat, and speculating how David Cameron will react. Is this the start of a new diner’s dinner dynasty?”

Asked whether or not he saw himself as a potential successor to Mr Cameron as the next Tory dinner-eater, Boris said there was no question of any competition whatsoever between him and his leader.

But he then added “Of course, once I’ve, you know, sated the appetite, if the Conservative…um, er, you know, if the plate comes free from the…the thing, got four legs, not a horse…TABLE! Yes that’s it, table. Should the plate become free, one would, of course feel obliged, perhaps to at least consider eating some dinner from the proverbial prime ministerial plate.

“But if, and only if, one was, you know, asked to. I’d certainly never run some sort of dinner-campaign against my redoubtable and, you know, eminently capable leader. I’m very happy with the dinner I am currently planning to have. More than enough on my, you know, round thing…plate!

“But, you know, I really haven’t, um, haven’t given this a moment’s thought.”


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