Israel and Palestine “giving war another chance”

by philapilus

“Let’s stick together, come on, come on, let’s stick together”

The opposing armed forces of Israel and Hamas have agreed to give conflict another go, saying that there is just too much history between them to give up on it now.

After suffering a night of heavy bombardment that saw scores of people dead, Palestine said this morning “We’ve been together so long, and I don’t want to just walk away from all that.

“What kind of a heartless bastard would I have to be not to repay Israel in kind for last night? After which hopefully it will retaliate again, and we can stay together, doing this for the rest of our lives.”

Israel said “There comes a time when you have to say, yeah, we could call it off and look for new opponents, or we could recognise that there’s still a lot of feeling here, and we can try and resolve our differences and enjoy many, many more years of internecine conflict together.”

Relationship counsellor, John Kerry, said “What has come out of the sessions we have had together, is that, no matter what other feelings might fly around, and no matter what things change in their lives, Israel and Palestine just really feel it is worth sticking it out and continuing this war of attrition forever.

“And I think that is a really positive thing.”


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