Teaching children about Dawkins could put them off science, claims Santa

by philapilus

Gets really narked if you don’t call him ‘Lord’

Jovial multiple trespasser Santa Claus made an unscheduled appearance at the annual ‘Not smugly convinced of your own superiority’ festival in Cheltenham this week, to warn against the dangers of exposing young minds to Richard Dawkins.

Santa flew in to the festival using his customary means of transport, a Cessna 182 light aircraft, and delivered a pleasant oration on how important it was “not to fill the impressionable minds of children with a bunch of unwavering dogma spouted by elderly white men in positions of influence and power.

“Same goes for religion, of course.” said Mr Claus, finishing another of the sherries he had purloined from festival attendees.

“Basically, whenever you see a well-spoken man insisting everyone has to do what he says – and especially if he claims to be able to back it up with evidence he says you aren’t clever enough to understand, and especially if he is white – my message is: Be Suspicious.”

Claus finished his impromptu lecture by saying “Science is brilliant. Logic and rationality are essential. Being a pompous arse; less so.”

Members of the audience then asked Santa what things were important for children to be taught.

With a twinkle in his eye, and shaking his belly like a bowlful of jelly, Mr Claus replied “An inquiring young mind is a beautiful thing, and it shouldn’t be filled with a bunch of ideological bullshit culled from a thick book ostensibly written by a jealous, white-haired old bigot, who is obsessed with what you think in the privacy of your own head.

“Or stuff about God, either. Do you see what I did there?”

 

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