Farage defends UKIP posters: “if anything, they’re not racist enough”

by philapilus
"They're coming! They're coooommmmmmming! (Vote UKIP)"

“They’re coming! They’re coooommmmmmming! (Oh, and be sure to vote UKIP)”

Nigel Farage has defended UKIP’s poster campaign for the European elections, claiming the images are based on “Facts and documented statistics, which prove definitively that everyone living East of Frankfurt has eaten at least four British babies in the last two years.”

One controversial poster shows an unstoppable zombie horde of swarthy men and whiskered women, advancing from Dover and devouring all in their path, halting occasionally only to perform undeclared manual labouring jobs, such as shoddy bricklaying.

Another shows elderly British grandmothers being murdered in their beds by scheming foreign devils, and yet another – known to be Farage’s personal favourite – shows him dressed in a crusader’s tabard, wielding an Excalibur-like sword and laying waste to a force of elite benefits claimants.

The UKIP leader said today that “93% of all laws are 95% made to be 110% anti-UK, by 200% petty bureaucrats from Europe, allowing them a hundred-billionty % immigration rights to take your porridge and sleep in your bed. And that’s not prejudice or scaremongering; it’s a demonstrable fact. Far from being too racist, if anything our posters don’t go far enough.”

Paul Sykes, a former Tory party donor who has funded UKIP’s £1.5m anti EU campaign, said “Arrgh! Beetles everywhere! In my pants and socks! I wanted an ice lolly, but it turned out to be a fish! Look at my elbow, it’s juicy! JUUUUIICY!! Let’s cook it on a barbecue? LOOK OUT!! Darkies!!!! Oh sorry, no, it’s just a shadow…

“Beetles! They’re in my ears!! HELP!!!!”

Mr Farage said “I am just an ordinary UK citizen, with ordinary UK ideas, standing up for ordinary UK workers and ordinary UK jobs, in ordinary UK ways. If I don’t stand up and fight for the Cornish pasty, the Melton Mowbary porkpie and the good old pint of London Pride, then the entire country will be sold to the Germans by David Camerband and Ed Milleron.

“A vote for UKIP is a vote for the UK, for common sense, and for giving everyone an oar, arranging them along the East coast of the country and bloody well rowing until we can’t see that benighted continent of Europe anymore, even with a ruddy big telescope.”

 

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