Miller in shock resignation

by philapilus

David Cameron’s Cabinet was in turmoil this morning, after the completely unexpected resignation of Culture Secretary, Maria Miller.

The stairs that Maria wasn’t pushed down yesterday

Miller, whose tenure has been marked by an admirably laissez-faire approach of careful and principled inaction, had been thought of as one of the government’s key fixtures.

Her departure is as unexplained as it is sudden, and her own party colleagues were as shocked as members of the opposition.

Lord Tebbit, one of the Conservatives most thoughtful and ever-temperate voices, said “We are frankly completely taken aback. Maria has been an exemplary minister; like a great piece of antique furniture she has maintained a steadfast poise, and dignity, whist sitting in the corner of the room, masterfully doing nothing at all.

“She is, in fact, the very model of a modern minister in general.”

A spokesperson for Miller said “Maria is stepping down to spend more time with her sofa and daytime TV.

“She feels it is time for her to fade gracefully into the shadows. Well, further into the shadows.

“All rumours about her having had a tumble down a long set of stairs last night are just that; rumours. They are completely unfounded.

“What? These crutches I’m carrying? No, they’re for someone else. Um, John…John… Smith. Yeah, they’re for John Smith.”

In unrelated news, Whitehall whisperings suggest David Cameron is expected to have a much easier time at the dispatch box during PMQs today, although no one can quite put their finger on why that should be the case.


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