Cosmic inflation ‘clinching proof’ of creationism

by philapilus
File:PSR B1509-58 full.jpg

“See? He’s waving”

After scientists claimed to have discovered evidence of the exponential ‘Cosmic inflation’ of space following the Big Bang, Christians have explained that this is in fact final proof of the existence of God.

Reverend-Professor Randy Bumfukowizc said “The so-called gravitational effects on ‘old light’, the Cosmic Microwave Background, are being touted as evidence of some sort of bogus theory of expansion.

“But what the BICEP2 team refuses to acknowledge, is that if you look at the images retrieved from the South Pole telescope, slightly unfocus your eyes, and pray for revelation, you actually begin to see something extraordinary.

“The face of God himself begins to appear in the image. Look, you can see his galactic-sized beard floating over here, his deep loving supernova eyes here, and right there, what is clearly a great big hand waving at us.”

But German scientist Dr Hans Onmycok, said “That’s an interesting theory, and one I intend to give a lot of attention to later. But right now I am busy tracing the letters that you can clearly see spelled out in the gravitational waves.

“If you flip the picture, rotate the waves through 90 degrees, superimpose the Manhattan skyline over it and then draw in random dots with a felt tip pen, you can clearly see that the universe’s expansion was carefully constructed to spell out the message “Randy, you really are a vintage wanker.”


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