Gambler sues casino after ‘drunken’ win

by philapilus

“Take the money back, you bastards, I was drunk! It’s not my fault!” is an oft-heard cry in Vegas’s backstreets, where casino enforcers break the knees of unwilling winners

A gambler who won $500,000 dollars during a drunken session at a Las Vegas casino, has refused to accept that his win was legitimate, and is suing the casino to take the money back.

Businessman Mark Knobman said today “I was clearly utterly intoxicated. They let me gamble all night long, even though I was drunker than an Irishman on his birthday.

“I mean, I obviously had no control whatsoever, and should not now be made responsible for my actions.

“I know I didn’t have to drink until I was too wasted to see, I accept that. But because I did drink like a fucking fool, the casino should have refused to serve me or give me markers, let alone let me win such an irresponsible amount. It was their duty, and they failed in it.”

Under Nevada law, gamblers are no longer allowed to play once they become intoxicated.

In practise though, this law is often broken by casinos, in order to allow them to lose more money to customers when they are off their guard.

Mr Knobman said “If you saw a drunk wandering down the road, and someone ran out, gave him a set of cards, shouted ‘you’ve won!’ and pushed money into his hands, you wouldn’t call that a fair and legal win, would you? 

“Well it’s exactly the same principle.”

A spokesperson for the Nevada gaming control board, Randy Bumfukowizc, said “We are looking into this. It is clear that something has happened, but we can’t decide, as yet, just how unbelievably massively stupid the thing is.

“If he’d lost the money he wouldn’t come back to us crying and saying he shouldn’t have to pay, would he? Only a fucking moron would do that.

“So why he thinks he should be let off of winning without having to take a single cent home with him, I have no idea.”

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