“Some of our best friends wear bin bags!” protest Tories

by philapilus

“If they’re allowed to dress like bloody bin liners, why can’t we bloody well point that out?” said senior Tories, who really shouldn’t be allowed out unsupervised.

A Conservative spokesman has expressed outrage that the party was forced to expel a councillor “simply because he compared children in burkas to bin-bags.”

Sir Arthur Theremin said it was “Political correctness gone even madder than normal mad” after councillor Chris Joannides was given a 12 month expulsion, for making the derisory comments on an image he had posted on Facebook.

Theremin said “If we can’t make a perfectly rational observation, that darkie children in burkas look like rather full bin bags – which, by the way, anyone with eyes in their head could see was perfectly justified – then what on Earth is the country coming to?!

“Next the bloody liberals will tell us we’re somehow “racist” if we point out that the Mussulman’s skin is poo-coloured! If that isn’t a curtailment of our right to free speech, I don’t know what is!”

The sentiment was shared by many in the party, who called the punishment “a disgrace” and “the thin end of the wedge.”

Mayor of London, Boris Johnson, made one of his calm, placatory statements, saying “In my job I see people in, er, burkas all the time – can’t avoid the buggers. And I have to say that they do look like they’re wearing, you know, sort of bin bags.

“But, but, but you tell me, tell me this, right; why’s that perfectly grammatically sensible, manifestly correct, English sentence automatically seen as negative?

I happen to think bin bags look quite fetching. Some of my best friends wear bin bags. I’ve even considered wearing one myself.

“So I want to reach out to all those who may have been offended by my friend from Enfield’s statement, and say ‘Let’s not let blind prejudice make us harass a man who’s, broadly speaking a pretty decent sort of chap.

“And furthermore, listen; let’s celebrate the proud, multicultural nature of this great country, where each man or woman is free to wear a suit, clown costume, Nazi uniform, or even a big, ugly black bin liner, if he or she so wishes.”

A spokesperson for the Equality and Human Rights Commission declined to comment, wept uncontrollably, then threw himself out of a 10th floor window.

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