Major surprises at 86th Oscars

by philapilus

McQueen ‘Triumphant’ in 12 Years A Slave

Pundits say last night’s Academy Awards will go down as the most surprising in the history of the golden statuette, after upsets in all the main categories.

The Oscar for Best Picture went to 12 Years a Slave, Steve McQueen’s sequel to his 1963 film, the Great Escape.

McQueen both directed and starred, again playing Virgil Hilts, recaptured by the Nazis and forced into slavery, attaching those plasticky things to the end of shoelaces, which sort of stop them unravelling.

Best Director went to ex-UK Prime Minister, John Major, for his compelling portrait of a cricketer who, against all the odds, leads England to Ashes victory against a team of Aussie pirates; Captain Phillips.

The Best Actor was Sandra Bullock, for his turn as a struggling chef, trying to set-up a franchise hot-sauce business, despite the general buffoonery and clumsiness of staff, who keep spilling the brown stuff everywhere, in slapstick comedy ‘Gravy It’.

In perhaps the biggest surprise of all, however, Hattie Jacques took home Best Actress for her portrayal of Matron, in 1972’s Carry on Matron. This was a particular shock to many, as Jacques has been dead since 1980.

The one certainty of the night was Jennifer Lawrence’s customary pratfall, which this year she chose to perform on the red carpet itself, to the delight of her fans.


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