Putin completes transformation into comic-book villain

by philapilus
If 2D people turn to the side, you can't see them at all

If 2D people turn to the side, you can’t see them at all

After having women whipped in the street, demonising homosexuals, and upholding the authoritarian Ukrainian government’s stance against calls for democracy, experts say Vladimir Putin has now become a fully-fledged comic-book baddie.

Professor Hamish McEyebrau, of the Slough Multi-storey Carpark School of Graphic Novels, said “At some point during the night the Russian president finally flattened into 2D, and developed the requisite black outline.

“By around 8AM he had been reduced into relatively simple blocks of colour, and shortly thereafter he was seen prowling around the Kremlin in a cape and mask, cackling maniacally, and screaming instructions at flying monkey slaves.”

UK and US intelligence agencies say they have reason to believe Putin is gathering a league of other exaggeratedly evil supervillains, which will include Lex Luther, Dr Doom, Green Goblin, Simon Cowell and Anne Robinson.

A spokesman for MI6 said “Jesus Christ, that guy is such a fucking arsehole it’s unbelievable. Our current plan of action is to wait for a member of Pussy Riot to turn into Hit-Girl, slice his tiny willy off with a samurai sword, and then stick it down his throat till he chokes.

“Mark Millar is writing it as we speak.”

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