Archive for February 16th, 2014

February 16, 2014

Britain thanks gays for day of celibacy

by philapilus

“Right now, somewhere in Britain, men are doing things to each other that would make your dad feel very, very uncomfortable”

After an unprecedented Sunday in which areas of the country saw blue sky – and occasionally even the sun – the UK has offered thanks to the gay community, who have presumably abstained from having sex all day.

UKIP homosexual weather spokesman, Martin Vinegarsole, said “The last few weeks of Biblical-style destruction have proved that God finds the bum-bandits every bit as annoying as stepping on a piece of LEGO in the dark.

“But today has been dry, sunny, and the neck-high water covering everything has had a lukewarm feel to it, which means that obviously the gays have managed to keep their willies to themselves for a change! Let’s just hope

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