RMT celebrates decisive victory

by philapilus
Bob Crow said he was delighted this morning, after two days of extensive striking by London Underground staff achieved “more than we ever dreamed possible.”
As news broke that literally all the demands of staff had been met, and that furthermore every employee would be given a Ferrari, and that they definitely weren’t going to be fired anymore, union members celebrated the genius and leadership of Crow.
Speaking from a five-star hotel on the moon, where he was munching five-star moon-lobster, the rotund unionist and darling of Britain’s lovably insane right wing press said “Obviously I knew all along this would definitely succeed on some level.
“How could the people who pay our wages, run the tube infrastructure, and make decisions on employment strategy, ever defeat the stout-hearted, noble, and above all truculent might of the transport union?”
 In addition to his victory over a penitent Boris Johnson, Crow was also today celebrating receiving a prestigious award.
The Political History Re-enactment Society gave Crow their ‘Lifetime Achievement’ award, in recognition of his painstaking re-creation of ancient and long-outdated working class militancy.
Ordinary tube worker, Cob Brow, said “I do feel a bit bad about the strike. I mean, I didn’t want to piss anyone off; I just also didn’t want to be made redundant by a blonde chimpanzee.
“I deal with you hate-filled, moody, commuting shits on a daily basis, and provide service with a sort-of-smile, even though you rude bastards deserve to be machine-gunned into oblivion.
“But I draw the line at being fired by an overweight Worzel Gummidge.”
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