Big Benefits Row voted best television programme of 2014

by philapilus

‘Phwooaarr!’ as John Major used to say. Not just a hottie, but she knows what she’s talking about, too.

Channel 5’s Big Benefits Row, and its presenter, Matthew Wright, have been given special one-off  awards by BAFTA, in recognition of the enormous and profound impact on the issue of welfare reform that the programme achieved.

A statement from BAFTA said that “Matthew Wright presided over a calm, measured, and insightful debate, which he masterfully arbitrated.

“The titular ‘row’ was more of an exercise in Socratic method, with Wright helping an audience of extremely well-qualified celebrities to reach such important and unarguably correct conclusions, that Iain Duncan Smith himself has asked Wright to shape policy for him.”

Katie Hopkins was particularly singled out for her contribution, cleverly blending objectivity with a passionate regard for the views of her opponents.

Edwina Currie was also praised for being “Absolutely brilliant, and not at all a total fuckwit with the face of a squeezed anal wart, who everyone wishes would just fuck off and die.”

But critic Mike Unt said “I don’t get it. I think I’m just too stupid to understand the subtlety, but to me it was just Matthew Wright, wearing that irritating trademark smirk, gleefully stirring up fights whilst pretending to referee.

“We were subjected to completely irrelevant and predictable opinions from a bunch of arsehole celebrities, almost all of whom were drowned out by Katie Hopkins. Her continuous, batshit mad soliloquy would have made Samuel Beckett cry with envy.

“I would have liked to hear from sensible, experienced victims of the system, like the constantly vilified Jack Monroe, but they were completely inaudible, thanks to Hopkins’ unstoppable verbal diarrhoea.

“Call me an idiot, but I would have thought footage of two retarded toddlers fighting over a stick in a forest would have made for a better contribution to an analysis of the state of welfare in Britain today.”

Unt added “Fuck you, channel 5.”

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