Archive for January 30th, 2014

January 30, 2014

Jim Davidson voted celebrity ‘people most want to disappear’

by philapilus

‘It’s how we got rid of the Chuckle Brothers’

The public unanimously agreed yesterday that Jim Davidson was the celebrity who they most wanted “to fuck off and never come back”.

Davidson was announced as the ‘winner’ of Celebrity Big Brother; the nation’s official way of trying to keep someone segregated from the rest of the country, and shut up in a house for as long as possible.

Media Analyst Rick Head said

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January 30, 2014

Confirmation that people who confirm demon possessions are confirmed morons

by philapilus

Many terrified Americans believe this to be clinching photographic proof of the devil’s existence

It was confirmed today that religious specialists and medical staff who confirm that children are possessed by demons, are not only incredible morons, but are also possessed by moron spirits.

The Association of Americans Who Aren’t Fuckwits warned of “mass moronacy”, after Indiana Police Captain, Billy-Bob Bucktooth, said that the only possible explanation for some children behaving strangely was ‘demon possession’.

Captain Bucktooth announced at a press conference yesterday “We’m saw them there chillun an’ they was

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