Appeal: help world leaders avoid footwear crisis

by philapilus

It doesn’t have to be like this

Can you imagine the shock of slipping on a red carpet because the soles on your shoes are too worn down?

The horror of tripping on the stairs as you leave the official jet because your laces no longer tie properly?

The ignominy of being caught in flagrante, allegedly attending an adulterous tryst, because you are literally too fucking stupid to wear a different pair of shoes to the ones that you wore whilst being photographed by the entire world’s media the day before (like seriously, wtf were you thinking)?

For many world leaders, the Great Shoe Crisis is one of the most difficult problems they will ever face.

Day after day, leaders of the free world, the developing world, and nutjob countries like Russia and North Korea, struggle with the very real problems of not owning enough shoes.

  • Can you spare just £3 a month, to see the impoverished statesmen of this world properly shod?
  • Do you have any old, but still serviceable shoes, you would be willing to donate to a worthy cause?
  • Do you have an M&S voucher that you got for Christmas, and don’t really want, but could pass on to us so that we can buy loafers for the French Presidents of this world?

If so, please call us today, on 5318008*, or email: seriouslybuysomefuckingshoesyoucheatingcheapskate@gmail.com

Because here at Shoes For Leaders, we believe that a well-heeled leader can make all the difference.

Please, don’t be a lacey heel, search deep within your sole, and help us give shoelessness the boot.

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*It spells ‘Boobies’ if you look at it with a mirror!!!!

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