Archive for January 20th, 2014

January 20, 2014

Ukip continues transfomation into memberless party

by philapilus

This one’s leaving to become a Siamese cat

Ukip have confirmed this morning that since yesterday’s suspension of councillor David Silvester, a further seven party members have been expelled, suspended, or have chosen to leave.

Silvester was suspended for his claim that the recent widespread flooding of the UK was God’s punishment for the legalising of gay marriage, a claim which even David Icke called “Completely fucking batshit mad”.

Ukip spokesperson, Percy Spoke, said “We have had a really great couple of days, and managed to get rid of eight party members. That’s nearly ten.”

Spoke confirmed that

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January 20, 2014

Appeal: help world leaders avoid footwear crisis

by philapilus

It doesn’t have to be like this

Can you imagine the shock of slipping on a red carpet because the soles on your shoes are too worn down?

The horror of tripping on the stairs as you leave the official jet because your laces no longer tie properly?

The ignominy of being caught in flagrante, allegedly attending an adulterous tryst, because you are literally too fucking stupid to wear a different pair of shoes to the ones that you wore whilst being photographed by the entire world’s media the day before (like seriously, wtf were you thinking)?

For many

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