Department for Education are ‘lions led by donkeys’

by philapilus
Sources inside the Department for Education have revealed today that Michael Gove is modelling his entire political strategy on “the fuckwitted tactics of WWI British generals”.

The claim comes after Gove made a scathing attack yesterday on 25-year old sitcom Blackadder Goes Forth, for “trying to suggest that the (admittedly quite large) losses of British troops was  somehow the fault of their great leaders, rather than obvious cowardice on the part of the working class soldiery”.

Gove went on to say that the loss of almost a million men, through tactics such as running towards machine guns over open ground in the middle of the day, was “Actually a very good and admirable result; after all, we bloody well won didn’t we?”

A DfE spokesperson said “Michael is very confident that by maintaining the complete separation of leadership and actual experience evidenced by WWI military generals, he will achieve similarly excellent results in education, and we estimate that no more than a million children will completely fail on a yearly basis. And not just for four years either! We are confident that we can keep this going for decades, and if we have to cut down the flower of teaching youth to do it, then so be it!”

But an inside source said “To be honest quite a lot of us are getting a bit nervous about the parallels: being led by inexperienced, completely outmoded, ideologically backward upper class toffs, against a fearsome enemy – the feral children of British schools – is actually not as completely brilliant as it sounds. But every time we say anything Gove threatens to have us shot for unpatriotic cowardice.”

He added “But on the other hand there’s some excellent tragic poetry being written by shell-shocked teachers, barricaded in their staffrooms.

“So it’s not all bad.”

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