Anus of the Annus, 2013

by philapilus

After a year in which we have been spoiled for choice with your selection of ‘Wankers of the Week’, ‘Masturbators of the Month’, and even ‘Fingerers of the Fortnight’, the votes are in, and we can proudly present the person that YOU the readers think was the most awful fuckwit of the past year.

Anus of the Annus: Yes, once again – and for the fifth year in a row – it’s George Galloway!

Nominated by: Almost all of you

Nominated for: We’ll leave it to the man himself to demonstrate exactly why he was your unanimous choice, in his own words. We told George that our readers had voted him 2013’s worst person and he said:

George Galloway

Who else?

‘Naturally your readers, having obviously heard my illustrious name mentioned constantly in connection with the most important events of the last year, were doubtless so starstruck, so in awe of my indefatigability, and magnetic magnanimity, that on trying to think of someone who had been in the news they were – to put it mildly – completely unable to think of anyone other than me. And so even though you asked them to think of the worst, such is the splendour, the golden glory of my humble genius, that it was impossible for them to think of anything but the best.

“It’s so often the case, that people in all walks of life, find themselves completely unable to think of anyone but me. I myself, whilst fantasising and caressing my manly organ, can barely think of even the name of another person, let alone their bodies or faces, and all that I can summon to mind is my own, inestimable, beautiful visage.

“So I salute your readers, for inadvertently giving me this greatest of compliments, and reminding me of what I already know: that the most important person of 2013, anywhere and everywhere, was of course my humble self.”

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