Thought for the Week, by God

by philapilus
English: Kanye West performing in December 2008

Totally over the top; no one in real life is this awful

Hi everyone! God here again.

After last week’s ‘Thought for the Week’, in which I tried to explain how I accidentally started this weird fad for chopping the end off willies, the TMB editors have said they’re going to drop me if I don’t write something ‘more culturally relevant’.

So I did some ‘Googling’ (My Me, there’s a lot of porn out there!) and discovered that the things considered most culturally relevant today are cerebrally-challenged celebrities and pop musicians.

And so today I’m going to talk about the music video ‘Bound 2’, with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian.

 I have to say at the outset that I thought it was really quite nasty to satirise hip hop so brutally. The intentionally appalling lyrics went too far as a parody; ok so hip hop rhyme isn’t always exactly Maya Angelou, but there was no call to just end lines with the same words over and over.

Four ‘reputations’ and three ‘shits’ followed by a ‘bitch’ in the same verse! I don’t think any hip hopper could be accused of being so completely lacking in lyrical ability, and it’s pretty heartless of Kanye to imply that they are. And sampling can be really rather good; the migraine-inducing ‘uh huh honey’ was completely over the top.

If anything, the video itself was even worse than the song. I mean, we get it Kanye; you don’t like trite romantic symbolism, like horses running free, or motorbikes travelling down long highways, but you don’t have to make it look quite that shit.

Also, most musicians definitely don’t dance like a senile octogenarian with a full nappy, and even if intercourse can sometimes be a bit mechanical and unpleasurable, there’s no call to suggest it’s like watching two wardrobes trying to mate.

On the other hand I was very gratified that Kim Kardashian didn’t speak. And I definitely ‘got wood’, as I believe one says, when she was topless, although I was very confused about why she appears to have no nipples in the video.

But overall I found this a very unpleasant parody, and I hope that Mr West will be less harsh in future, and will remember that sarcasm is the lowest form of wit.

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