Public asks Google and Microsoft: ‘Why the shitting hell didn’t you do that before?’

by philapilus
2 x IBM PC XTs

Microsoft said yesterday that it has ‘rethought’ the ‘Great For Kiddyfiddle Pics!’ slogan used to advertise early versions of its Operating System.

After Google and Microsoft announced joint measures to make it harder to find images of child abuse online, literally everyone has responded by saying in unison “Ok…so why exactly didn’t you do that before, you fucking pricks?”

A spokesman for the partnership project, Percy Spoke, said “Our set of new algorithms will ensure that many inappropriate searches no longer return images of sexual abuse, and instead a big shiny message will pop up, saying ‘Oh you naughty thing, you!’

“We thought we might include a funny GIF of a well-known and trusted celebrity waggling a finger. Someone everyone loves, and who has worked with children; you know, someone like Jimmy Savile.”

As the incredibly powerful, hugely rich corporations attempted to catch up with contemporary morals, and ideas that even the Conservative party managed to embrace faster than them, people around the country said “What the fuck?”

Wendy Nailinthehead, who runs an internet cafe in Stockport, said “So, they have the world’s best programmers, unimaginable resources, and access to pretty much all the details of everyone in the world, and they’ve just thought of this? Fucking. Morons.”

Tim Twanks, an unemployed web-surfer, added “Did they not realise they could do something about this before then? Or is it just that they have all the ingenuity of a bag of monkeys with learning difficulties?

“Actually, on considering the fiasco of the Windows 8.1 roll-out last month, I think I’ve answered my own question.”

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