‘Let them watch vegetables’, says Camilla

by philapilus

Camilla and Charles are both very green in their outlook

The Duchess of Cornwall yesterday showed how in touch and hip the Royal family are, when she called for youngsters to “Put away their iPods and their Youtube, go and sit in the garden and watch some vegetables grow.”

The Duchess, who is the wife of Prince Charles (and will therefore be our future queen for seven days in 2029, until Charles keels over and dies a week after being crowned) exhorted kids to “Go and stare at vegetables, just like your peasant ancestors in the good old days.

“Being married to a man who talks to trees, and being the daughter-in-law of Prince Philip, has given me ample opportunity to relish the slow, gentle pace of vegetable-watching.

“If more of our – or more properly, your – young teenagers could stop the frivolity of the skipping rope, the hoop and stick, and fizzy ginger pop, I feel sure that the country would be a happier, more rewarding place.”

The Duchess’s views were hailed as “A brilliant contribution to the debate on health and food” by porky, cheeky chappie chef, Jamie Oliver, who added “Cor blimey guv’nor, she’s only gone and hit the nail on the head, ain’t she?”

Other words of support and praise came in from the Vegetable Growing Society of Maidstone, and from the Carrot Club of Cookham, whose president, secretary, and indeed sole member, nonagenarian Pete Pointless, said “My great grandson cares more about his Sega Megadrive than his dear old Grampy.

“To him I’m just some nutter who accidentally locks himself in his shed twice a week.

“What does he know about trying to water cabbages whilst the Boche are dive-bombing your allotment? Nothing!”

Advertisements
%d bloggers like this: