John Lewis forced to admit it came up with bear and hare advert all by itself

by philapilus
Ursus arctos middendorffi /kodiak bear/ Kodiakbär

Go on, just try patting him on the head and saying ‘Happy Christmas’…

After accusations of plagiarism were roundly dismissed, John Lewis was forced to accept responsibility for the appallingly twee, sentimental dross it is using to try and convince people to give them money this Christmas.

The retailer had attempted to dissociate itself from the advert, by planting rumours that it was a rip-off of a children’s book, and therefore plagiarised from someone else who should be held responsible for it.

But the ghastly cloying cartoon, featuring fluffy animals engaged in some unlikely anthropomorphised acts of friendship, and accompanied with some sugary vacuous song, has been proven to be the result of a £7m commission.

However, despite its universally acknowledged appallingness, the advert appears to be working.

Professional idiot, Wendy Nailinthehead, said “Fluffy animals? Christmas? Woohoo! Here’s my bank details John Lewis, take what you want!”

But Pip Pipeline, a plumber from Plumstead who isn’t a total moron, said “Seven million quid? For that shit? Christ almighty that’s depressing.”

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