Facebook allows users to post video of Clegg-beheading

by philapilus

 

David Cameron

Dave ‘Headsman’ Cammers

Having just made a U-turn on an earlier U-turn over the posting of videos depicting beheadings, Facebook is once again courting moral controversy, after announcing it will be allowing the posting of grainy, domestic footage showing the decapitation of Nick Clegg by David Cameron.

The beheading, which sources close to the prime minister say has been on the cards for some months, will take place later today, in response to Clegg’s declaration of disagreement with the tories over the ‘rolling back’ of green levies.

It will be videoed by an aide using his iPhone, stolen by the NSA, leaked by a whistleblower, and then uploaded to Facebook all around the planet by around 10pm GMT.

A spokeswoman for Facebook, Samantha Furcup, said “The decision not to overturn the decision of stopping the policy of stopping an earlier policy of not suppressing videos of beheadings, was itself overturned by a management decision only yesterday.

“But this anticipated video-clip will make us re-evaluatorialise our criteria for optimum decisionalisationing of our code of ethics. We feel strongly that either this video of the robust, cut-and-thrust kingmaking at the top in British politics, needs to be seen and understood – or that it doesn’t.

“We will be making this decision in accordance with several principles vaguely revolving around issues to do with freedom of speech and abuse of information-sharing networks, none of which any of us will understand.

“Therefore we will continue streamlinearising our strateganilisationalising of our parameters and alternately allowerfying and de-allowerfying the posting of this video by users until people stop shouting at us.

“And if you don’t like it, you can kiss goodbye to all your photo albums, and we’ll jumble up all your ‘likes’ so that your friends think you are a huge fan of Jim Davidson.”

 

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